Parenting Children with Special Needs

WAHM Interview - Success Working from Home

2009-01-14T14:26:00.001-08:00

WAHM Interview - Success Working from Home

Posted using ShareThis

2008-12-27T09:24:00.001-08:00

just getting the hang of twittering and ping.fm and MyTwitterToolbar... so many tweets so little time! lol

Animal Agentz - Home

2008-12-12T16:24:00.000-08:00

Technology helps kids with ADHD

Animal Agentz - Home

Human Rights from a Canadian Childs Perspective | Crazy Fox Online

2008-05-15T06:27:00.000-07:00

Human Rights from a Canadian Childs Perspective Crazy Fox Online

Brain Teaser Are you as Smart as a 4th grader? | Crazy Fox Online

2008-04-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

Brain Teaser Are you as Smart as a 4th grader? Crazy Fox Online

With Sincere Gratitude

2008-03-30T16:05:00.000-07:00

I write this post after the last child attending my 10 year old Asperger Boy's birthday party left. Once again, I am struck by the compassion and acceptance that my son has been so fortunate to find in this group of kids. They are so truly amazing.

My son is in the 4th grade and has attended school with this same group of kids since Kindergarten. Actually some of them attended pre-school together, but this group (now 18 kids) has been together for 5 years. They are in a French Immersion program in an outstanding school. (I can judge outstanding from mediocre having put one child through school already). There are a few factors that contribute to this group being such an amazing group starting with the school, its fantastic and caring teachers, and its virtues program, but that doesn't quite explain it. I have another child in the same school, and her class is just not the same positive place that my son's is. Maybe we see a difference because my son is in the class? Let me explain.

Until this school year, none of our son's classmates knew there was something different about him. They accepted him as he was, and I suppose knowing him from Kindergarten made that easier. However, his behavior was beginning to become annoying to some of the kids in the 3rd grade, and they were less tolerant. They weren't abusive, but he definately took notice of being treated differently. Long story short, he had some severe anxiety issues toward the end of last year that carried over to the beginning of this year. Our daughter, then 7 years old, came up with the notion that if his classmates knew he had something like AS, they would be much more tolerant. Imagine that... it took the logic of a 7 year old to figure out how to deal with a potentially explosive social issue.

Our son shared his story with his classmates by way of a letter at the beginning of the school year. He poured his heart into the letter. It took him days to complete it. It was the single most important step he has taken. At that time, his anxiety was so high that he was not attending school. We would go to school for short periods to collect homework with the plan being to integrate slowly back one class at a time.

Imagine his delight when he was greeted by his classmates with excitement and genuine happiness to see him. Imagine his delight when he was invited to play at recess, asked to join in other activities and told how much they wanted him back in school. As his Mom, I wanted to take each of those kids and squeeze them! They have no idea just how powerful their actions are, or what a huge impact they have made on his life. Who knows what his life would be like today and in the future if he had not found this acceptance.

We were thrilled to say the least, but we really expected the newness of it to die off and that eventually the class would "forget" he has special issues. Here we are in the final quarter of the school year, and that has not happened. I watched the boys at the party today and how they completely accept my son's atypical behavior. They are so tolerant and accepting and able to see beyond the surface. They really like him. They really KNOW him - they just "get" him. It's hard to believe that these are 9 and 10 year old kids. It is hard for me to express the gratitude and admiration I feel for each of them - not just the kids at the party, but his entire class.

How does one adequately express this to a group of 9 and 10 year olds, and to their parents? I want to do something to express our appreciation and to let the parents of these amazing kids know what an outstanding child they have! I'm sure they know that already, but I am equally sure that they don't realize how powerful their children have been in not only getting my son back in school, but thriving. These kids and their parents need to know what a tremendous positive impact they have had. They have literally changed the course of my son's life. How do you thank someone for that?

And so I am wondering... will all kids rise to the occasion given the opportunity? I do believe that this is one special group of kids, but what if we gave every class a "special child" to take care of . I think of the life lessons that these kids are learning - and teaching and wonder if others would benefit from a similar experience...

Children with Aspergers See the World Differently

2008-03-26T15:12:00.000-07:00

Children With Asperger's See The World Differently...

They Have Unique Challanges That You Must Know About To Raise Them Well...

It’s true that early detection and early treatment are the two key factors in improving prognosis -- but too often parents get bogged down in denial or confusion about this still mysterious disorder, and are unable to take the necessary steps.

I know that was true for my family. But you know, knowledge is power. Once you understand what you are dealing with, both the negative and the positive, you are in a position to turn negatives into positives.

Is it time you discovered ...

* What an AS diagnosis really means
* How to understand and assess your child’s various treatment options
* What your child's rights are in the school system
* How to cope with common marital and family stress
* How to manage and even reduce your child ’s Asperger’s symptoms
* And much, much more!

I found a great resource that can really change your life. To find out more click the link below:

The Essential Guide to Aspergers

Is your Child Out of Control

2008-03-20T12:30:00.000-07:00

Parents of children with Aspergers or ADHD, and ADD are often at a loss for how to control their child's behavior.

Does your child often:

lose his temper
argue with adults
refuse to comply with rules and requests
deliberately annoy people
blame others for his mistakes and misbehavior

Is your child often:

touchy and easily annoyed by others
angry and resentful
spiteful and vindictive

If those lists sound like your child, you may be dealing with ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

"Believe it or not, your child doesn't need counseling. You don’t need parenting classes. You don’t need -- nor would you want -- a 250-page manual on how to be a better parent. Who has time for that? And you don’t need to go through another year of pain and misery with rebellious,foul-mouthed kids with an "attitude."However, what you may need is someone who has worked with oppositional, defiant children and frustrated parents for nearly 20 years -- and does so for a living -- to show you a set of very effective parenting techniques that are guaranteed to work."

That would be Mark Hutten.

Mark offers a program second to none at price that is truly outrageous. I have scoured the internet looking for a similar online support program and could not find one for less than $300. You'll be shocked when you see what you get here for under $30!

Online Parent Support

Finally, some real value!

Aspergers and Sensory Perception Disorder

2008-03-18T10:05:00.000-07:00

Original Artwork by Melissa Zacherl.

This poster found on this website: http://www.spdbayarea.org/SPD_symptoms.htm, was created by a parent of a child with Sensory Perception Disorder. I thought it was a wonderfully simple, yet eloquent description of a child with SPD. The image in this post is small, but do click on the link and check it out, as well as the site itself!

As noted in the Diagnosis Game, we have been round the mullberry bush with our son in our efforts to get answers and solutions to his issues. For the most part, we are truly unconcerned about a diagnosis because we know our child, we accept him as he is and for who is, but we are acutely aware that his sensory issues are adversely affecting his health. This is, of course, our only concern in any of this - ensuring that our child is healthy, happy and reaching his potential. Just the same goal as we have for our typically developing child.

Whether he is ever officially diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (AS) or not, he has been diagnosed with SPD. It would seem that the specialists I have been in contact with are not aware of the connection between SPD and AS. When I was directed to a page describing the difference between picky eaters and resistant eaters, I was shocked to see an EXACT description of my son's food issues.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/The_SPD_Companion-picky-eaters-and-resistant-eaters.html

Vaccine Autism Connection in the News

2008-03-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

Before I knew anything about a theory connecting ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and immunizations, I wondered if our son's behavior changes could be attributed to his vaccinations. It was right after his 18 month immunization that we began to notice changes in his personality. A once normally developing toddler suddenly became rigid. A child who once would eat whatever was offered became picky and overly sensitive. A once active and agile child became less agile.

When I read about the immunization connection to autism I was quite certain that our son did indeed have ASD. There has been considerable contraversy about this connection with health officials adamently denying any connection. Well... now US Federal officials say a Georgia girl is entitled to compensation from a federal vaccine injury fund because she developed autism-like symptoms after receiving childhood vaccines in 2000.

You can find the news story in many networks. Here is one of them:

http://www.wbaltv.com/health/15524242/detail.html

Helping your child’s teacher to understand your child

2008-01-19T17:18:00.000-08:00

This is a topic on the Parenting Aspergers Blog, and I have to tell you that my heart broke reading the comments. Yes, some were stories of inspiration, but others are stories of absolute horror. Sadly, I could relate to both, and it inspired me to get back to working on this blog. You know there are so many of us out there - parents of mis-understood children... we must reach out to one another and form an alliance. There is strength in numbers, and Lord knows we need strength!

I could relate the mother who said that her son hates the color red. You just know that there are going to be people who think that is just so ridiculous and that the child is just a manipulative brat. So what if he hates red, you can almost hear those who don't get it say. If I had a dollar for everytime someone (including professtionals and my own mother) responded to my explaining something about him by telling me that "everyone has those ____ (fill in blank), or...he just needs to be disciplined, or...you are spoiling him".

Returning to school from Christmas break, I advised his teacher that he was struggling with the transition. "Everyone has a hard time getting back to school after a long break", was her response. Sure they do. I don't dispute that. However, most children can cope with those transitions fairly easily. It is very frustrating to know that you are viewed as over protective, and even perhaps that you are making excuses for your child. Frustrating and infuriating.

Don't get me wrong, I feel fortunate that my son is in an excellent school, and he has had the benefit of amazing and caring teachers. Still, there are times that you just know they don't get it. And I don't blame them for not getting it, but it can be difficult knowing you are seen as the problem.

I participate in a few different parent forums, and learned something interesting from a mother who seemed to be dealing with a very similar situation as many of us are. This is a summary of my conversation with her:

I have learned how to fight for my son. It is not by getting angry (tried that). It is not be rolling your eyes and walking away when you are made out to be an overprotective incompetent parent (tried that too). Getting angry and
overly emotional only solidifies their belief that you are not competent. Instead, praise them. It may sound silly, but it works. Teachers, doctors,behavior specialists, counsellors and other "professionals" are often egomaniacs. They respond very well to praise and you can actually bring them around to your way of thinking - I'm not kidding.

That may sound condesending and highly manipulative, and maybe it is, but when you are dealing with your child's future, you do what you have to do. I treat the professionals as I treat my children, and they respond in much the same way. I praise what is working, and explain why its working, express my gratitude for their special care and consideration - and guess what... they eat it up like candy and come
back for more.

Brilliant isn't it? I am a big believer in the Law of Attraction, and this approach is completely in keeping with the law. Expressing gratitude puts you in alignment with the Universe. I shall endeavor to use this approach. I am in fact grateful for the effort that the people around my son give him. And I am grateful for the times that they do "get it".

The Diagnosis Game

2007-11-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

We first noticed something "different" about our son Kory somewhere around his 2nd birthday. At first we weren't concerned. We just thought he was unique, had his own distinct personality, and that just made him all the more perfect in our eyes. My husband and I were both child protection social workers and we each had a child from previous marriages, so we were well versed in child development.

His little quirks were cute, and not really THAT unusual for his age. He HAD to have his "blanky" to sleep with, and other "comfort" toys when awake, and he insisted on specific routines or rituals for doing certain things. Around the age of 3, he started to eliminate certain foods from his diet until he had successfully eliminated the entire fruit and vegetable group. This did cause us concern, but our family doctor assured us that it was just a stage, and although our other children may not have gone through it to the same intensity, it was not abnormal. Well, he has yet to grow out of that stage...

Around that same time, our doctor did notice that our son's speech was not developing normally. He had actually created his own language and taught it to his baby sister, 16 months his junior. The two of them would jabber on to each other, clearly having a back and forth conversation. Our doctor called it "twinese", but we had already named the language "koryese". He was sent for a speech assessment where it was determined that his language development was mildly delayed.

While his speech may have been slow to develop, he demonstrated other areas that he was very well developed. He had a special interest in letters and letter sounds. He learned the letter sounds very early, and was reading before he was 4. In fact, his speech was still not very well developed yet when he could read. He also had an aptitude for numbers and a speical interest in maps very early on.

We were sure we were dealing with Aspergers Syndrome when Kory was about 4 or 5, although he was not experiencing any issues at school - his social development lags were not so evident at that age when children are still expected to be egocentric. In 2nd grade, his teacher approached us with some minor concerns... and that is when the Diagnosis game began...

We shared our suspicions with the teacher and she requested testing... fast forward to today...

Kory is in the 4th grade. He has been assessed and diagnosed with everything but Aspergers Syndrome. His initial assessment stated that he meets all the criteria for AS, but does not display the "cognitive deficits" typically associated with Aspergers. Anyone who has a child with Aspergers knows that there are no typical cognitive deficits - on the contrary, many AS kids are of above average intelligence. The Pediatrician's take was that it is not Aspergers because he displays anxiety... he tells us that anxiety is not found in Aspergers children. Again, we know different - it is VERY common, and is in fact often one of the characteristics! That doctor prescribed anti anxiety drugs and invited us to return for follow up in a month. We did not fill the prescription.

For our purposes, we do not need a diagnosis. We do not need a doctor to tell us what we live with everyday. We have enjoyed considerable success in teaching and managing our son's behavior, and controlling anxiety without medication. For the purpose of obtaining supports in the school system however, a diagnosis is necessary. For the purpose of educating teachers and school staff, a diagnosis is necessary. And so we play... The Diagnosis Game...