With Sincere Gratitude

I write this post after the last child attending my 10 year old Asperger Boy's birthday party left. Once again, I am struck by the compassion and acceptance that my son has been so fortunate to find in this group of kids. They are so truly amazing.

My son is in the 4th grade and has attended school with this same group of kids since Kindergarten. Actually some of them attended pre-school together, but this group (now 18 kids) has been together for 5 years. They are in a French Immersion program in an outstanding school. (I can judge outstanding from mediocre having put one child through school already). There are a few factors that contribute to this group being such an amazing group starting with the school, its fantastic and caring teachers, and its virtues program, but that doesn't quite explain it. I have another child in the same school, and her class is just not the same positive place that my son's is. Maybe we see a difference because my son is in the class? Let me explain.

Until this school year, none of our son's classmates knew there was something different about him. They accepted him as he was, and I suppose knowing him from Kindergarten made that easier. However, his behavior was beginning to become annoying to some of the kids in the 3rd grade, and they were less tolerant. They weren't abusive, but he definately took notice of being treated differently. Long story short, he had some severe anxiety issues toward the end of last year that carried over to the beginning of this year. Our daughter, then 7 years old, came up with the notion that if his classmates knew he had something like AS, they would be much more tolerant. Imagine that... it took the logic of a 7 year old to figure out how to deal with a potentially explosive social issue.

Our son shared his story with his classmates by way of a letter at the beginning of the school year. He poured his heart into the letter. It took him days to complete it. It was the single most important step he has taken. At that time, his anxiety was so high that he was not attending school. We would go to school for short periods to collect homework with the plan being to integrate slowly back one class at a time.

Imagine his delight when he was greeted by his classmates with excitement and genuine happiness to see him. Imagine his delight when he was invited to play at recess, asked to join in other activities and told how much they wanted him back in school. As his Mom, I wanted to take each of those kids and squeeze them! They have no idea just how powerful their actions are, or what a huge impact they have made on his life. Who knows what his life would be like today and in the future if he had not found this acceptance.

We were thrilled to say the least, but we really expected the newness of it to die off and that eventually the class would "forget" he has special issues. Here we are in the final quarter of the school year, and that has not happened. I watched the boys at the party today and how they completely accept my son's atypical behavior. They are so tolerant and accepting and able to see beyond the surface. They really like him. They really KNOW him - they just "get" him. It's hard to believe that these are 9 and 10 year old kids. It is hard for me to express the gratitude and admiration I feel for each of them - not just the kids at the party, but his entire class.

How does one adequately express this to a group of 9 and 10 year olds, and to their parents? I want to do something to express our appreciation and to let the parents of these amazing kids know what an outstanding child they have! I'm sure they know that already, but I am equally sure that they don't realize how powerful their children have been in not only getting my son back in school, but thriving. These kids and their parents need to know what a tremendous positive impact they have had. They have literally changed the course of my son's life. How do you thank someone for that?

And so I am wondering... will all kids rise to the occasion given the opportunity? I do believe that this is one special group of kids, but what if we gave every class a "special child" to take care of . I think of the life lessons that these kids are learning - and teaching and wonder if others would benefit from a similar experience...